Nonconsensual smiles are racist

Keep your smiles to yourself, bigot.

If there’s one thing we learned from the Covington incident, it’s that people of privilege still don’t understand the boundaries of interracial smile dynamics.

Let me put it plainly: smiling at a minority who does not want to be smiled at is a hate crime. Here’s why.


You may remember the news from last month, when a young white male from Covington High School somehow decided it was appropriate to smile at an elderly Native American man.

The old man had entered the younger man’s personal space, beating a drum close to his face in an apparent protest of the young boy’s Make America Great Again hat. Instead of breaking down in tears and apologizing to the older man for his troubling hat, a symbol even more offensive in 2019 than even the swastika, the young boy had the nerve to simply smile in return.

Conservatives are arguing that the boy did nothing wrong, because their little orange brains are still stuck in a bygone era where smiling wasn’t a disgustingly racist gesture.

Clearly, the MAGA kids want to return America to a racist time when it was acceptable to smile openly at strangers, regardless of their skin color. How disgusting!

Here’s why smiling is problematic:

Showing your teeth is a sign of aggression

If you’re smiling at someone, you’re saying this to them:

“I’m an aggressor, and I’m ready to pounce on you as my prey. And I’m going to use all of my privilege to do it.”

Check your privilege, and check your smile, shitlord.

No, seriously, check your smile: you have a crumb stuck between your teeth.

Smiling is an invasion of body language space

It’s a microaggression to subject someone else to your body language.

The only acceptable way to greet someone is with a neutral face, completely void of emotion.

This way, you don’t accidentally project pleasant moods onto the other person which could be interpreted as a hate crime.

Smiling has a long history in MAGA Country as a secret signal to broadcast Trump support

When you see two white men smiling at each other, or even nodding in passing, they are indicating their support for Trump to each other.

The correct emotion during this time of fascist rule is sorrow.

It’s necessary to drudge through your daily existence in grief to ensure others are fully aware that you’re bothered by Trump and are committed to #resisting.

If you’re not unhappy 247 about Trump’s presidency, and allowing it to occupy your waking thoughts and ruin your life, you’re part of the problem. Being happy while Trump is in office is NOT okay.